Eastern is a medium sized college. The only school building that isn't in walking distance from everything else is, arguably, the College of Business. Because of the size of the campus we are expected to get everywhere without the aid of cars, or a bus system. Don't get me wrong there are busses on campus, but they don't take you from one building to another, and are really Ypsilanti busses, not meant solely for campus use. As I have complained before all the parking is on the parameter of the campus so there is a lot of walking back and forth to do.
All the non-motorized transportation has caused students to take up other means of transportation across campus. It has become a sort of self expression. Everyone who doesn't walk is either in to much of a hurry to get to class that they can't bother being bipedal, or just wants to show off their skills. For example Bicycles are for people in a hurry, they are to busy to walk, and they need to zoom to and from class in an apparent rush to let us know. Skate boarder riders are the typical group showing off. Generally guys in their little sisters straight leg jeans, glide past us and leave behind a whiff of the stale weed they just got done smoking. To the skate boarders I say "good for you!" I can't even move on a skateboard, let alone try and do it high.
There is one other person on campus, dear reader, who is more of a show off then our skate boarding class mates. If you have spent a few days on campus in the general vicinity of Pray Harold or, Quirk, you have, no doubt, seen him. I speak of course of Unicycle guy. With his gym shorts and ever present Croc shoes he rides by in a blur of moderate paced ridiculousness. The thing that confuses me most about unicycle guy is this; he doesn't get places much faster than those of us who are using our two legs like suckers. It is because of this I concluded that he only does it because he wants to say to the world: "Look at me! I spent years of my life perfecting riding this ridiculous contraption! Should EMU not work out for me, I could easily fall back on a career as a circus clown! You are shamed by my presence!"
Unicycle guy, I am not shamed by you. I am happy to use the legs I was given, but I would be even more happy to see you fall off your stupid unicycle and break your face on the concrete. This author tried to get a picture of the magical unicorn that is Unicycle guy, however I have failed, not because he is fast moving, but because he is usually across the street, and my cell phone camera doesn't zoom. You're not missing much, he looks a little something like this...
But with Croc's not clown shoes.
Emich Girl
